If you are used to working back in home country, once you are in US on H4 visa you cannot work immediately… Life as a H4 Visa Holder can be really tough until you fall under H4 EAD Rule to work. Ruchika has shared her experience on how she has seen the brighter side of life in US on H4. Thanks to her for sharing her positive attitude and experience towards life. It is quite inspirational for many of H4 visa holders. Must read for everyone. If you want to share your experience, you can do it here
One day, when I was penning down my thoughts as what this so called H4 dependent visa has taken from me, I started reminiscing about my time here in U.S. I have no doubt in my hatredness for this stupid visa as how it has taken away my liberty of working and earning. But I cannot deny what all beautiful things it has offered me. May be its true that when life takes something from one hand, it offers something on another hand. It’s human trait only that we get so engrossed in our crying that we forget to relish our small moments.
What are my personal gains – New Culture, Etiquette ? Traffic Rules ?
If I talk about my personal gains, this visa has given me opportunity to learn pretty good things of U.S. culture. The first thing is etiquette in US and expressing gratitude. If I say U.S. taught me these things that doesn’t mean I was ill-mannered, I was a just normal mannered Indian. A normal Indian who rarely said thank you to a cashier at a grocery store, held a door for a complete stranger, greeted a stranger, said sorry or thank you to little ones for small things, waited in queue patiently and sometimes even offered own turn to someone at back in queue. It’s good that I am able to instill these qualities in my child too. I can see an example of this in my daily life, like one day she asked me for something, I said ok, I will get that for her, she warmly said, Thank you mommy! It seems to be normal thing but deep inside it’s an acknowledgement and appreciation for you, your efforts and a motivation to keep doing things in a better way.
Other good thing, I learned is about good traffic rules-especially no horn thing, everyone will wait for his/her turn, no matter you are coming out of carnival. In India, if you are crossing a road it’s solely your duty to keep yourself protected from on-going vehicles and if in case you are trapped inside the road, even on Zebra crossing sometimes what you will hear is “Dikhta nhi hai kya, andha hai (Can’t you see, are you a blind)” or “marne ke liye yehi gadi mili thi (Do you want to die in front of my vehicle only)?”. Here, if you are crossing your road (when it’s your right to cross or in parking area), the whole world will come to a stop for you.
I have read so many tragic stories about how people die in ambulance when they don’t get timely medical attention, just because people don’t give way to these emergency vehicles in India. I love the fact how a life of an individual is being valued here is U.S.
Time to Learn, Travel, Family Time
Since I love travelling, I have chance to visit and explore new places here. Otherwise, planning a vacation from India to U.S. is a costly affair for an average Indian. Someone said learning has no age and it never exhausts your mind. Luckily, I had opportunity to learn I wished for. I am a better cook now, a better homemaker, my home looks good by home decor things I make and also, I am learning to swim. I had a deep desire to swim but didn’t get time a chance to learn before. Rarely one gets a chance to learn to swim at this point of time (age, married, child, job) in India, may be because we start feeling older before our age, worry so much, take tension of every this and that, especially what people will say. One simple example is most ladies don’t prefer wearing bright colors after crossing age of 45 years thinking how will they look or more importantly what people will say!! But look out here, no one cares as long as you are happy.
The most important thing that I have got is family time. When we were back in India, my husband had work shifts, sometimes early morning, sometimes afternoon or even night shifts and I was also working although in normal office hours but yes, our timings never matched. So many times, we had time just enough to see each other’s face only or sometimes a ride to my office, just to spend time together or to know what’s happening in each other’s lives. We used to wait for days off, weekends or even bunk office during lunch hours and home as if we were still dating before marriage. But now as I am always at home and even his timings are normal, we have plenty of time for each other (unless there is an issue -IT support, huh or he is on the call).
As the time is passing, the bond we share is getting deeper. Thousands miles away from home, taking care of super-active toddler alone, without a job and so much of household chores, many times, I do get depressed and he is the only one I get to venture out my frustration. Fortunately, he tries to maintain his cool, motivates me and encourage me to do new things. Not only this, I even get a luxury to eat food cooked by him. Yes, usually an early morning tea, bread toast, omelette or a dal sometimes. This was obviously not much possible back in India as we were in joint family settings.
Apart from our husband-wife bonding, I have opportunity to enjoy my motherhood. I am able to see her growing, her innocence, feel her love and affection for me. Having her asleep in my arms, her little hug and innocent smile she gives when she wakes up is so prestigious that I can’t even dream to lose. If I was still working, I would have missed these moments and this time won’t ever come back.
I have learned that we should define our happiness, we cannot look for it somewhere else or depend on others, we have to create it for ourselves. But if we keep regretting for what we don’t have, we will keep wasting our precious time where we could either have created a beautiful moment with our loved one or worked for our better future.
How has your experience been on H4 Visa ? Share your thoughts.
You may also read – Life on H4 – Working Not working
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