Last week, Ruchika wrote about Life on H4 Visa and What it taught her. This week, she is sharing her experience on adjusting to US life during her first few months. Thanks to Ruchika for sharing her experiences ! Her expereince is a reality that is unspoken or shared less with friends and family back home. If you would like to share your experience, you can share it here
Joint Family to Silent Jail – Big Change – Moving to US on H4 Visa
Accustoming myself here in US during initial few months of travel were bit more challenging than rest. I came on Friday and it was a long weekend ahead. I resigned from my job four days before my travel, lived in a joint family for 3 years after marriage and even had a grand-marriage of my sister-in-law 6 days before so initially it felt that someone has trapped me in some kind of silent jail where I could only talk to my co-inhabitants who in my case were my 6 months old daughter and a husband who comes in the evening. During day time whenever I looked outside of my window, I could only see an empty parking lot and an adjacent city road with few cars moving. Unlike New York or other cities in America, Tampa is a bit of peaceful city with less crowd and one that does require a car for commuting with family.
Changes with getting Car and Making Friends
Luckily, the community where we live is near to my husband’s office and 70 % of inhabitants are Indians, mostly working in same office. There is play area which is always crowded with families, a back pond where one can easily spot families strolling in evening so making new contacts was not a very difficult task. Till then we had no car so my description of silent jail had changed into a quarantined/remote island. After a month or more, we got our wheels and our first run was from our remote island to a beautiful beach. Then that remote island never looked the same. Few contacts we made earlier turned into good friends to very good friends and we started exploring this beautiful state with them.
Being a full time Mother at Home – Cooking food delicacies, DIY art, Saving
Being a full time mother at home is very tiring but I have a mind that always keep running and cooking up something so I always keep it occupied and constantly feeds it with things that keep it and myself positive. I often try to steal the time when little-one is asleep to keep myself productive and inspired. Initially I learnt my food delicacies later when we got bit more settled I learnt DIY-art and decorated my home by myself, I do read, explore new things or whenever it’s any special moment, I try to make it special with homemade surprises so with these little things life goes on. One more thing I learned is art of saving here and can save around 30-40 % on my grocery bills and other bills too, without compromising the quality of life. If I can’t earn, I can save and regard every penny saved as penny earned.
Thinking, Thinking…Positivity…sleepless nights, family…Reason
It’s not that I have a god gifted positivity, ask my husband he can tell everyone better (:-P). Like I mentioned earlier, my mind keeps running and running, talking to itself, thinking and overthinking. Sometimes I really wonder why it just can’t sit back and relax, why I made so many dreams for me or why am I so ambitious? I cried, I cribbed, had sleepless nights, even had fights but I realized all these things were disturbing my family life and my child. One more bitter truth I have realized is that we all are here due to some reason, no-one has forced us to come here or hand-cuffed us and we are free to go back to our homeland, there is absolutely no business that’s going to shut down if one person leaves. Although it’s not justified to make H4 visa holders dependent on H1 visa holders and not given opportunity to work till H4 EAD in this developed economy but this is how things were and we knew from the start, maybe some of us just did not measure the density of situation earlier.
Still adjusting…Never ends…Positivity
I don’t know how one outlines adjustment, when someone ask me have you adjusted or how have you adjusted in US? A part of me says yes but from somewhere the other part says no, not yet, I am still adjusting; perhaps I have learned the way of living till the time my racing mind finds its own path. But yes, till that time I will definitely live every moment of life and focus on positive because somewhere in my heart I had one more dream for my future, to have a happy and blissful life and if I am not fulfilling this one, then I am not doing right with my life.
“Live life to the fullest”
What has been your experience adjusting in the first few months in America ?
Love to hear your thoughts.
Image Credits : https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c7/Enjoying_wedding_in_India.jpg, https://i.ytimg.com/vi/kX20M9P805I/maxresdefault.jpg , https://pixabay.com/static/uploads/photo/2015/08/04/20/16/america-875164_960_720.png